A dear sister in Christ died yesterday after many a long month of frailty. In her 90's, she - and her dear companion - had been part of my church family for around 30 years. Now, after many years of being a faithful pilgrim, she is with the Saviour she loved.
This world is not our home,
We're only passing through.
We have the joys and toils and cares
Just as the godless do.
We see the varying hues
Of Autumn, Winter, Spring;
But we detect in all these things
The hand of our great King.
But one day soon we'll leave
These passing things behind;
For He will call us, and we shall
Eternal glories find.
For if we're come to faith
Been saved by precious grace,
The glories of His heavenly home
Are outshone by His face.
O dear Lord Jesus Christ,
Our Master and our King,
Thy love is great and glorious,
Of Thee we love to sing.
O make us pilgrims, Lord,
Detached from all we see,
Not loving what we cannot keep,
Longing to be with Thee.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Thursday, October 25, 2007
A bit brighter....
After a fairly traumatic weekend, we went to the hospital on Tuesday – and waited…..
The clinic was running about 3 hours late, so including time waiting to be called, waiting for the doctor after being called, time with him, then going to the pharmacy and waiting there – it was a long day. I think we got to the hospital about 10:30 am, and it was nearly 3pm when we left. Still, it is a blessing to have the facilities quite close; as I have said before, there is no complaining in the waiting room, everybody knows they will have a long wait – and many have much further to travel than we do.
We didn’t see either the consultant nor one of the registrars, but a junior doctor (whom we have seen before). He asked lots of questions about various symptoms, felt her stomach and listened to her lungs, and then adjusted the medication by increasing the pain killers, extending the steroid course, and also giving Sue some mouthwash to help with her mouth and throat which (possibly as a result of the steroids) are (in his words) "Ooh, that IS sore!".
Sine then Sue has been a little brighter – even a smile when I got home last night, whereas last week I was more likely to be greeted with tears. She seems not quite so downcast, and her appetite is a little better. Suffice to say that for the last two mornings she has called me out of the study to ask for breakfast quite early - 5:30 yesterday and 5:45 today!
It is a real blessing to be able to spend time together reading His word, listening to sermons from a good friend in America, and in prayer. Truly the Lord continues to be gracious to us as a family, in supporting us, granting us His peace, and enabling us to trust Him who loves us so incredibly.As the Apostle says "Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ: by Whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God."It is indeed all of grace!
PS She has not been so good today - in fact not with it at all, and mostly asleep. However, that is probably due to the fact that while I was out doing the shopping early this morning, she thought she would "help" by getting her tablets out. They are in one of those compartment boxes, one "pot" for the morning and the other "pot" for the evening. When I got home she confessed to "having got in a muddle"; and I found that she had taken both lots (including a sleeping tablet) together........!
The clinic was running about 3 hours late, so including time waiting to be called, waiting for the doctor after being called, time with him, then going to the pharmacy and waiting there – it was a long day. I think we got to the hospital about 10:30 am, and it was nearly 3pm when we left. Still, it is a blessing to have the facilities quite close; as I have said before, there is no complaining in the waiting room, everybody knows they will have a long wait – and many have much further to travel than we do.
We didn’t see either the consultant nor one of the registrars, but a junior doctor (whom we have seen before). He asked lots of questions about various symptoms, felt her stomach and listened to her lungs, and then adjusted the medication by increasing the pain killers, extending the steroid course, and also giving Sue some mouthwash to help with her mouth and throat which (possibly as a result of the steroids) are (in his words) "Ooh, that IS sore!".
Sine then Sue has been a little brighter – even a smile when I got home last night, whereas last week I was more likely to be greeted with tears. She seems not quite so downcast, and her appetite is a little better. Suffice to say that for the last two mornings she has called me out of the study to ask for breakfast quite early - 5:30 yesterday and 5:45 today!
It is a real blessing to be able to spend time together reading His word, listening to sermons from a good friend in America, and in prayer. Truly the Lord continues to be gracious to us as a family, in supporting us, granting us His peace, and enabling us to trust Him who loves us so incredibly.As the Apostle says "Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ: by Whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God."It is indeed all of grace!
PS She has not been so good today - in fact not with it at all, and mostly asleep. However, that is probably due to the fact that while I was out doing the shopping early this morning, she thought she would "help" by getting her tablets out. They are in one of those compartment boxes, one "pot" for the morning and the other "pot" for the evening. When I got home she confessed to "having got in a muddle"; and I found that she had taken both lots (including a sleeping tablet) together........!
Monday, October 22, 2007
For those who prayed....
Thank you for praying - but I did not make it to chapel last night.
I was very reluctant to let them down at such short notice, but Sue's cousin (who runs the chapel) was very understanding. Sue was in a great deal of pain, and I could not leave her.She had been in similar pain on Saturday evening, to the extent that we called the district nurses out; although very nice they couldn't do anything to help.They then asked the on-call doctor to phone us, but she only asked a few questions and then said "see how you are in the morning". So last night we just managed on extra morphine, and eventually she went off to sleep.
Please remember her in prayer - body, mind, and soul.
I was very reluctant to let them down at such short notice, but Sue's cousin (who runs the chapel) was very understanding. Sue was in a great deal of pain, and I could not leave her.She had been in similar pain on Saturday evening, to the extent that we called the district nurses out; although very nice they couldn't do anything to help.They then asked the on-call doctor to phone us, but she only asked a few questions and then said "see how you are in the morning". So last night we just managed on extra morphine, and eventually she went off to sleep.
Please remember her in prayer - body, mind, and soul.
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Pills and pains
A quick update on what has happened over the last couple of weeks.....
When we saw the consultant, he proposed that Sue should have a course of steroids for a couple of weeks, and a blood transfusion, in the hope that the combination would give her a lift.
After a cross-match blood-test on Thursday, she duly had the transfusion yesterday. As it started about 10am, I was expecting it to finish around 4pm (two units can take anywhere from 4 to 8 hours); but in the end she finished about 3pm. An extra blessing was that Jess came home from Uni for the weekend unexpectedly - so she was able to go and collect Sue as a nice surprise.
The steroids have however had some sad side-effects. We found later that they lower your resistance to viruses etc - explaining why Sue has has had ear-ache and a sore throat, so that she can hardly talk. They also exacerbate depression - explaining why Sue was on and off in tears for most of last week. However, the higher dosage period (4 per day) gave way to a lower dosage (2 per day) last week; and she has been slightly brighter since. She does however still have pain in her stomach to some extent, is still tired, still quite weak - and is now suffering from backache....
In addition, it was helpful to see the GP (local doctor for USA readers!), who called in on Monday as Sue wanted some reassurance. He was lovely, while at the same time realistic; he reminded us that we had always been told that the cancer would not go away, but he also said he thought Sue had done remarkably well to be as well as she is. Little does he know how many people have been praying! THANKYOU ONE AND ALL!
The next stage will be to see the consultant again on Tuesday 23rd, and we will see what he suggests about the way forward. Update on that to follow!
Meanwhile - for those interested in such things - I would value prayer for tomorrow, as God willing I will be preaching at a small Baptist church in a small local village in the evening. It's the one where Sue and Vera worshipped for many years, and even now most of those who worship there are related to us. If we can all go that would be good (even Vera's brother, who used to run it, would like a lift too); but we will have to see if Sue is up to it. Days are long and evenings are difficult sometimes. We look to the Lord, who gives daily grace and mercy.
When we saw the consultant, he proposed that Sue should have a course of steroids for a couple of weeks, and a blood transfusion, in the hope that the combination would give her a lift.
After a cross-match blood-test on Thursday, she duly had the transfusion yesterday. As it started about 10am, I was expecting it to finish around 4pm (two units can take anywhere from 4 to 8 hours); but in the end she finished about 3pm. An extra blessing was that Jess came home from Uni for the weekend unexpectedly - so she was able to go and collect Sue as a nice surprise.
The steroids have however had some sad side-effects. We found later that they lower your resistance to viruses etc - explaining why Sue has has had ear-ache and a sore throat, so that she can hardly talk. They also exacerbate depression - explaining why Sue was on and off in tears for most of last week. However, the higher dosage period (4 per day) gave way to a lower dosage (2 per day) last week; and she has been slightly brighter since. She does however still have pain in her stomach to some extent, is still tired, still quite weak - and is now suffering from backache....
In addition, it was helpful to see the GP (local doctor for USA readers!), who called in on Monday as Sue wanted some reassurance. He was lovely, while at the same time realistic; he reminded us that we had always been told that the cancer would not go away, but he also said he thought Sue had done remarkably well to be as well as she is. Little does he know how many people have been praying! THANKYOU ONE AND ALL!
The next stage will be to see the consultant again on Tuesday 23rd, and we will see what he suggests about the way forward. Update on that to follow!
Meanwhile - for those interested in such things - I would value prayer for tomorrow, as God willing I will be preaching at a small Baptist church in a small local village in the evening. It's the one where Sue and Vera worshipped for many years, and even now most of those who worship there are related to us. If we can all go that would be good (even Vera's brother, who used to run it, would like a lift too); but we will have to see if Sue is up to it. Days are long and evenings are difficult sometimes. We look to the Lord, who gives daily grace and mercy.
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Slower than we thought
That's the progress of the cancer, not the good old NHS! True, we did have to wait quite a while; but that's because there are so many very ill people to be seen. The Oncology clinics are are always busy, lasting many hours, and it is a tribute to the dedication of the doctors and staff that they keep going as they do.
We went and saw the consultant this morning (well, afternoon actually!). He told us that the CT scan results (the ones Sue has been having every three months) showed no measurable deterioration, which was good. In addition, the ultrasound scan she had last week showed that there were no blockages (another matter they were concerned about); so that was good too. HOWEVER, the liver results (not quite sure how or when that was measured) show that there is still something not right - but to what extent they have not been able to measure as yet. The cancer is therefore still "on the move", but slowly.
He therefore proposed a course of steroids from today (I have to go back to the hospital later to collect them), and a blood transfusion next week; then go back and see him in a couple of weeks, hopefully feeling much better, for further thoughts on the way forward.
As Sue said (quoting Joseph Hart, the hymnwriter) "How good is the God we adore, our faithful unchangeable friend....we'll praise Him for all that is past, and trust Him for all that's to come"
We went and saw the consultant this morning (well, afternoon actually!). He told us that the CT scan results (the ones Sue has been having every three months) showed no measurable deterioration, which was good. In addition, the ultrasound scan she had last week showed that there were no blockages (another matter they were concerned about); so that was good too. HOWEVER, the liver results (not quite sure how or when that was measured) show that there is still something not right - but to what extent they have not been able to measure as yet. The cancer is therefore still "on the move", but slowly.
He therefore proposed a course of steroids from today (I have to go back to the hospital later to collect them), and a blood transfusion next week; then go back and see him in a couple of weeks, hopefully feeling much better, for further thoughts on the way forward.
As Sue said (quoting Joseph Hart, the hymnwriter) "How good is the God we adore, our faithful unchangeable friend....we'll praise Him for all that is past, and trust Him for all that's to come"
Friday, October 05, 2007
Home again but....
This is a quick post to bring everybody up to date.
As I said yesterday, the doctors were concerned by the combination of pain, tiredness, and possible jaundice.
The ultrasound scan today showed that the cancer has returned to the liver.
Sue has therefore been allowed home for the weekend, the intention being that early next week we will get an appointment with the consultant that we usually see, so that the situation can be reviewed and the plan for the future can be explained.
Not unexpected - eleven months to the day that she was first admitted - but nonetheless a test of faith. It was wonderful that, just as we were leaving the ward, a dear friend who is a former Pastor and also on the chaplaincy team at the hospital, came in. He had only come to see Sue, so instead he came home with us and had a cup of tea and a time of prayer. In such times, prayer - confident, trusting prayer addressed to a loving Heavenly Father - is a great comfort.
The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever. (Psalm 23)
As I said yesterday, the doctors were concerned by the combination of pain, tiredness, and possible jaundice.
The ultrasound scan today showed that the cancer has returned to the liver.
Sue has therefore been allowed home for the weekend, the intention being that early next week we will get an appointment with the consultant that we usually see, so that the situation can be reviewed and the plan for the future can be explained.
Not unexpected - eleven months to the day that she was first admitted - but nonetheless a test of faith. It was wonderful that, just as we were leaving the ward, a dear friend who is a former Pastor and also on the chaplaincy team at the hospital, came in. He had only come to see Sue, so instead he came home with us and had a cup of tea and a time of prayer. In such times, prayer - confident, trusting prayer addressed to a loving Heavenly Father - is a great comfort.
The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever. (Psalm 23)
Thursday, October 04, 2007
Trusting
We went as planned to the hospital this afternoon, for the official comment on the results of the scan taken two weeks ago.
The impression given was that the results were not particularly better or worse than the picture shown by the last one (taken mid-June); so that was encouraging. However, during the conversation about the frequency and degree of pain that Sue has, the doctor (the registrar not the consultant) commented that she thought Sue looked a little jaundiced. Jaundice being of course liver-related, and the cancer being in the liver area, the doctor thought it best for Sue to be admitted.
So, having got to the hospital about 4pm for the outpatients appointment, by 6pm I was on my way home to pack a suitcase - trying to think back to the early part of the year when that was a frequent happening, and what I needed to put in!
After I got back to the hospital, another doctor came to see Sue, asked loads more questions, and also listened (stethoscope)/poked/prodded/felt etc. She then said that the stomach pain was one thing, the jaundice was another - and there might also be a build up of fluid around her stomach too. They have therefore requested an ultrasound scan; and when they have the results of that, they will be in a better position to decide what to do next. However, she could not be certain that the scan would be done tomorrow - so it looks like a weekend (at least) in hospital.
Sue was of course upset initially, partly because of having to stay in hospital again without warning, and also partly of what may lie ahead in terms of treatment. She did however calm down before I left her for the evening; and at least she has a nice room to herself at the moment (we hope she won't get moved later).
So - a strange providence allowed (better, planned) by our Heavenly Father, Who knows best and Who has Sue's circumstances in His care. He is after all "the One in Whose hand her breath is, and Whose are all her ways". We trust Him, because He loves us - and we leave the coming days in His wise and loving hands, knowing that He will give us the strength we need as we need it, and that He will never leave us nor forsake us.
What a Saviour we have!
The impression given was that the results were not particularly better or worse than the picture shown by the last one (taken mid-June); so that was encouraging. However, during the conversation about the frequency and degree of pain that Sue has, the doctor (the registrar not the consultant) commented that she thought Sue looked a little jaundiced. Jaundice being of course liver-related, and the cancer being in the liver area, the doctor thought it best for Sue to be admitted.
So, having got to the hospital about 4pm for the outpatients appointment, by 6pm I was on my way home to pack a suitcase - trying to think back to the early part of the year when that was a frequent happening, and what I needed to put in!
After I got back to the hospital, another doctor came to see Sue, asked loads more questions, and also listened (stethoscope)/poked/prodded/felt etc. She then said that the stomach pain was one thing, the jaundice was another - and there might also be a build up of fluid around her stomach too. They have therefore requested an ultrasound scan; and when they have the results of that, they will be in a better position to decide what to do next. However, she could not be certain that the scan would be done tomorrow - so it looks like a weekend (at least) in hospital.
Sue was of course upset initially, partly because of having to stay in hospital again without warning, and also partly of what may lie ahead in terms of treatment. She did however calm down before I left her for the evening; and at least she has a nice room to herself at the moment (we hope she won't get moved later).
So - a strange providence allowed (better, planned) by our Heavenly Father, Who knows best and Who has Sue's circumstances in His care. He is after all "the One in Whose hand her breath is, and Whose are all her ways". We trust Him, because He loves us - and we leave the coming days in His wise and loving hands, knowing that He will give us the strength we need as we need it, and that He will never leave us nor forsake us.
What a Saviour we have!
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
It's all gone quiet again....
I know, I know - the title of the last post was just asking for trouble, wasn't it....
I guess that's the trouble with blogging; what do you say when there is nothing to say? Not that there is nothing that could be said; but when there is not much to report in terms of developments.
Sue duly went for her scan last week. She had to be there at 9am, to drink some liquid over the course of an hour; she was called about 9:50, and got back to me about half an hour later. We had to wait for five/ten minutes before the nurse came to take the blood-test thing (a cannular, I believe) out of her arm - but then we were free to make our way to a local church for the funeral of a dear friend who died of cancer just a few days ago.
I had known him for around 30 years; he was a dear brother, whom my friend Jonathan called "A "Mr Valiant-for-Truth" in modern day Cheltenham". A godly and gracious man, with a special sense of humour, he had a love for the various small local assemblies, and in former years was often out preaching the gospel and seeking to encourage the friends who meet together in these small fellowships around the Cotswolds. He was also a great encouragement to me over the years, and we enjoyed many sweet times of fellowship at church or in homes or (his great love) out walking in the hills.
The service itself was good - not much about Eric, more about what it means to be a Christian, and about Christian hope and comfort. Eric had of course wanted (and planned it) that way. The service sheet called it "A service of worship and thanksgiving"; and it was.
As regards the future, Sue and I have often thought that one of the signs of getting old is that you have an increasing number of friends who have "gone on before to glory". In the words of William Williams
"I have a yearning for that land,
Where the un-numbered throng
Extol the Lamb of Calvary
In Heaven's unending song"
Or as Stuart Townend puts it
"I long to be where the praise is never-ending,
Yearn to dwell where the glory never fades;
Where countless worshippers will share one song,
And cries of "Worthy!" will honour the Lamb"
Or the Apostle Paul who "had a desire to depart, and to be with Christ, which is far better..."
Certainly we have a good number now who await us rejoicing in the immediate presence of the Lord (Ps 16:11). Yet how sad it is that we do not live in the light of the prospect - better, the certainty! - that awaits us. We ought to be pressing on far more than we do, "looking for and hasting unto the day of God", and living each day in the light of THAT day. And yet that longing should be focused, not on the prospect of joining those we love, nor starting to enjoy what they now do - but to be with the One Who has loved us from before the foundation of the world. To quote Stuart Townend again
"Then one day I'll see Him as He sees me,
Face to face, the Lover and the loved;
No more words, the longing will be over,
There with my precious Jesus"
I guess that's the trouble with blogging; what do you say when there is nothing to say? Not that there is nothing that could be said; but when there is not much to report in terms of developments.
Sue duly went for her scan last week. She had to be there at 9am, to drink some liquid over the course of an hour; she was called about 9:50, and got back to me about half an hour later. We had to wait for five/ten minutes before the nurse came to take the blood-test thing (a cannular, I believe) out of her arm - but then we were free to make our way to a local church for the funeral of a dear friend who died of cancer just a few days ago.
I had known him for around 30 years; he was a dear brother, whom my friend Jonathan called "A "Mr Valiant-for-Truth" in modern day Cheltenham". A godly and gracious man, with a special sense of humour, he had a love for the various small local assemblies, and in former years was often out preaching the gospel and seeking to encourage the friends who meet together in these small fellowships around the Cotswolds. He was also a great encouragement to me over the years, and we enjoyed many sweet times of fellowship at church or in homes or (his great love) out walking in the hills.
The service itself was good - not much about Eric, more about what it means to be a Christian, and about Christian hope and comfort. Eric had of course wanted (and planned it) that way. The service sheet called it "A service of worship and thanksgiving"; and it was.
As regards the future, Sue and I have often thought that one of the signs of getting old is that you have an increasing number of friends who have "gone on before to glory". In the words of William Williams
"I have a yearning for that land,
Where the un-numbered throng
Extol the Lamb of Calvary
In Heaven's unending song"
Or as Stuart Townend puts it
"I long to be where the praise is never-ending,
Yearn to dwell where the glory never fades;
Where countless worshippers will share one song,
And cries of "Worthy!" will honour the Lamb"
Or the Apostle Paul who "had a desire to depart, and to be with Christ, which is far better..."
Certainly we have a good number now who await us rejoicing in the immediate presence of the Lord (Ps 16:11). Yet how sad it is that we do not live in the light of the prospect - better, the certainty! - that awaits us. We ought to be pressing on far more than we do, "looking for and hasting unto the day of God", and living each day in the light of THAT day. And yet that longing should be focused, not on the prospect of joining those we love, nor starting to enjoy what they now do - but to be with the One Who has loved us from before the foundation of the world. To quote Stuart Townend again
"Then one day I'll see Him as He sees me,
Face to face, the Lover and the loved;
No more words, the longing will be over,
There with my precious Jesus"
Thursday, August 23, 2007
A prompt update for a change....
If you have ever been to Cheltenham hospital, you will know that the parking situation is terrible. So we were grateful to the Lord when, just as we drove in to the carpark by the Oncology clinic, a lady was just reversing out of the space nearest the door!
After the normal wait, we were called in to see the Registrar, rather than the consultant. However, that was not a problem - he's the one Sue knows from her Gloucester Hospital days, who took her Groshong line out back in July, and he's a nice chap. It's a blessing to have someone you know, and get on well with, rather than someone you have never seen before.
As expected, it was not a particularly "medical" visit, in the sense that there was no blood test, no blood pressure or temperature test, or (of course) any new scan results. It was more "how are you feeling? how is your appetite? how is the pain?" and so on. We did discuss the pain she often gets in the evenings, and learned that we need to be more regimented in the time she takes her tablets. Strange as it may seem, a 12-hour slow release pain-relief tablet will run out after 12 hours! and if she has had her breakfast early, she will therefore either need to take her morning tablets later, or expect to take her evening ones early!
He was also pleased to note - although Sue was not! - that she has put back on some of the weight she lost earlier in the year. He thought it was a good sign, but I think Sue was disappointed.
So now we await a date for the next scan, probably in about four weeks' time; and then another meeting with the Consultant or the Registrar, in about six weeks, to see what happens next.
As always, we are so thankful that - in the grace and mercy of God, and no doubt due to the prayers of so many brothers and sisters in Christ for us - we are remarkably at peace about the present and the future. It is a joy to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that "our times are in His hands", and a privilege to rest in His love; to be able to ask that His will may be done, and His name glorified, in us and through us.
After the normal wait, we were called in to see the Registrar, rather than the consultant. However, that was not a problem - he's the one Sue knows from her Gloucester Hospital days, who took her Groshong line out back in July, and he's a nice chap. It's a blessing to have someone you know, and get on well with, rather than someone you have never seen before.
As expected, it was not a particularly "medical" visit, in the sense that there was no blood test, no blood pressure or temperature test, or (of course) any new scan results. It was more "how are you feeling? how is your appetite? how is the pain?" and so on. We did discuss the pain she often gets in the evenings, and learned that we need to be more regimented in the time she takes her tablets. Strange as it may seem, a 12-hour slow release pain-relief tablet will run out after 12 hours! and if she has had her breakfast early, she will therefore either need to take her morning tablets later, or expect to take her evening ones early!
He was also pleased to note - although Sue was not! - that she has put back on some of the weight she lost earlier in the year. He thought it was a good sign, but I think Sue was disappointed.
So now we await a date for the next scan, probably in about four weeks' time; and then another meeting with the Consultant or the Registrar, in about six weeks, to see what happens next.
As always, we are so thankful that - in the grace and mercy of God, and no doubt due to the prayers of so many brothers and sisters in Christ for us - we are remarkably at peace about the present and the future. It is a joy to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that "our times are in His hands", and a privilege to rest in His love; to be able to ask that His will may be done, and His name glorified, in us and through us.
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Still here!
In response to the promptings of several dear friends, I have to apologise for the "all gone very quiet…." situation over the last few weeks. It took me a while to realise that such blog-silence could be interpreted in diametrically opposite ways – either "no news is good news" or "crisis but no opportunity to spread the word about it". Please be assured that if matters did take a turn for the worse I would say! But equally I now realise that faithful prayer requires frequent updates for fervour and freshness; so I will try and make amends in future.
I am pleased to say that Sue is doing well. She still gets tired very easily, and cannot do much; but she is still here (praise the Lord!) and is able to get out from time to time. As anticipated in the last blog entry way back in July, we did get to Hannah's graduation in Manchester, and saw her and her new flat, so that was a blessing - although Sue found the travelling quite tiring (it's about 2.5 hours drive).
She has been to chapel most Sunday mornings over the last eight weeks or so, although she is not strong enough to manage the evening services as well just yet. Now we are having some sunnier weather and warmer evenings we sometimes manage a short and slow walk - and although tired afterwards she can manage further now than she could before. Yesterday we managed her "summer treat" - we drove about 60 miles south to the coast, where she could sit on a deckchair on the sand, with an icecream. She had to walk a couple of hundred yards, and was asleep on the way home, but was glad to have done it.
So physically she is not too bad, and spiritually too - since she started feeling better she has been able to read more, and in recent months has read about William Haslam (Anglican minister 1841 -1905, converted by his own preaching, blessed by the Lord in a revival in Cornwall), Billy Bray, Andrew Bonar, Amy Carmichael, CT Studd, and currently John Newton.
Emotionally there are however "rocky moments". She was for instance quite upset by the recent flooding in the county which UK readers may have heard about - very extensive and with severe disruption to life and property. No floods in 20 years or so in our area, and then twice in a month our garden has had about 15 inches, next door has been within inches of being flooded and the house beyond them flooded twice. A major local water treatment plant was flooded for the first time ever, and so we were without running water for two weeks (relying on water imported in bowsers and literally millions of bottles of water for the three towns affected, and several villages); and in fact the floods were within inches of entering an electricity supply station which would have affected the entire area as well! Compared to many, who lost property and business, we were no more than "inconvenienced"; but Sue found the departure from normality quite hard to deal with. We now have running water again, which is OK for baths/showers/toilets; but we have been told that all water for drinking/cooking/washing-up should still be boiled. Hopefully that will be cleared this week - but it makes you realise what a blessing clean water "on demand" is, and how much gets wasted every day.
But then, don't we all – and all too often – take so much for granted? Do we ever thank the Lord for all His mercies? Indeed, can we ever thank Him for ALL of them (they are so many), let alone enough (they are so abundant)? As the hymnwriter said "All I have needed Thy hand hath provided"; and as Jeremiah said, "It is of the LORD'S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness." (Lamentation 3:22/23).
And how can we ever – even in eternity – praise Him and thank Him enough for His wonderful love and condescension and mercy and grace? For in the Lord Jesus Christ our greatest need has been met; we have been forgiven and reconciled to Almighty God, through the life and death of His Son.
"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life" (John 3:16)
"But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8)
I know not how a holy God ,
The God Who hates all sin ,
Can look on me with love , although
He knows my thoughts within .
I know not how to face Thee , O
Thou Son of God , the Lamb
In glory and upon thy throne -
For I a sinner am .
I have rebelled and I have sinned ,
Done that which is not right ;
Fallen far short of what Thou dost
Expect in sovereign might .
Deliberate was my sin , O Lord ,
In deed and word and thought ;
I also failed to do those things
Which Thy word said I ought .
I know not how a holy God
Can pardon and forgive ;
Yet words of grace and mercy say
" Repent , believe , and live ! "
I know not how - but this I know
That in Thy word they're found ;
And therefore I by faith may stand
Upon redemption ground .
For on the cross my Saviour died
From sin to set me free ;
His blood was shed that I might live
To all eternity .
He suffered there the wrath of God ,
His Father turned away ;
He paid my debt - and my response ?
To love Him more each day .
What a great, and gracious God, we have!
I am pleased to say that Sue is doing well. She still gets tired very easily, and cannot do much; but she is still here (praise the Lord!) and is able to get out from time to time. As anticipated in the last blog entry way back in July, we did get to Hannah's graduation in Manchester, and saw her and her new flat, so that was a blessing - although Sue found the travelling quite tiring (it's about 2.5 hours drive).
She has been to chapel most Sunday mornings over the last eight weeks or so, although she is not strong enough to manage the evening services as well just yet. Now we are having some sunnier weather and warmer evenings we sometimes manage a short and slow walk - and although tired afterwards she can manage further now than she could before. Yesterday we managed her "summer treat" - we drove about 60 miles south to the coast, where she could sit on a deckchair on the sand, with an icecream. She had to walk a couple of hundred yards, and was asleep on the way home, but was glad to have done it.
So physically she is not too bad, and spiritually too - since she started feeling better she has been able to read more, and in recent months has read about William Haslam (Anglican minister 1841 -1905, converted by his own preaching, blessed by the Lord in a revival in Cornwall), Billy Bray, Andrew Bonar, Amy Carmichael, CT Studd, and currently John Newton.
Emotionally there are however "rocky moments". She was for instance quite upset by the recent flooding in the county which UK readers may have heard about - very extensive and with severe disruption to life and property. No floods in 20 years or so in our area, and then twice in a month our garden has had about 15 inches, next door has been within inches of being flooded and the house beyond them flooded twice. A major local water treatment plant was flooded for the first time ever, and so we were without running water for two weeks (relying on water imported in bowsers and literally millions of bottles of water for the three towns affected, and several villages); and in fact the floods were within inches of entering an electricity supply station which would have affected the entire area as well! Compared to many, who lost property and business, we were no more than "inconvenienced"; but Sue found the departure from normality quite hard to deal with. We now have running water again, which is OK for baths/showers/toilets; but we have been told that all water for drinking/cooking/washing-up should still be boiled. Hopefully that will be cleared this week - but it makes you realise what a blessing clean water "on demand" is, and how much gets wasted every day.
But then, don't we all – and all too often – take so much for granted? Do we ever thank the Lord for all His mercies? Indeed, can we ever thank Him for ALL of them (they are so many), let alone enough (they are so abundant)? As the hymnwriter said "All I have needed Thy hand hath provided"; and as Jeremiah said, "It is of the LORD'S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness." (Lamentation 3:22/23).
And how can we ever – even in eternity – praise Him and thank Him enough for His wonderful love and condescension and mercy and grace? For in the Lord Jesus Christ our greatest need has been met; we have been forgiven and reconciled to Almighty God, through the life and death of His Son.
"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life" (John 3:16)
"But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8)
I know not how a holy God ,
The God Who hates all sin ,
Can look on me with love , although
He knows my thoughts within .
I know not how to face Thee , O
Thou Son of God , the Lamb
In glory and upon thy throne -
For I a sinner am .
I have rebelled and I have sinned ,
Done that which is not right ;
Fallen far short of what Thou dost
Expect in sovereign might .
Deliberate was my sin , O Lord ,
In deed and word and thought ;
I also failed to do those things
Which Thy word said I ought .
I know not how a holy God
Can pardon and forgive ;
Yet words of grace and mercy say
" Repent , believe , and live ! "
I know not how - but this I know
That in Thy word they're found ;
And therefore I by faith may stand
Upon redemption ground .
For on the cross my Saviour died
From sin to set me free ;
His blood was shed that I might live
To all eternity .
He suffered there the wrath of God ,
His Father turned away ;
He paid my debt - and my response ?
To love Him more each day .
What a great, and gracious God, we have!
Friday, July 13, 2007
Now we are wireless!
Just a quick update to confirm that Sue had her Groshong (chest-wall) line taken out yesterday.
We were only in the hospital for an hour or so, and the procedure was quite quick and relatively painless - thanks to lots of local anaesthetic. The doctor who carried it out did some of his training at the hospital where Sue works, so that made things a bit easier; and he said he would do his best stitching! We will need to change the dressing over the weekend, and then the district nurses will come in next week to take the stitches out.
Another step forward on the road back to normality - PRAISE THE LORD!
As regards family matters, Sue hopes to be well enough to go to Manchester for Hannah's graduation on Monday; and Jess heard this week that she has passed her first year exams, so that is a blessing too. We will go up to Manchester on Sunday night, as the ceremony starts quite early on Monday; but we can't leave very early as I am preaching on Sunday evening in a local church. The first time since last September.....
We were only in the hospital for an hour or so, and the procedure was quite quick and relatively painless - thanks to lots of local anaesthetic. The doctor who carried it out did some of his training at the hospital where Sue works, so that made things a bit easier; and he said he would do his best stitching! We will need to change the dressing over the weekend, and then the district nurses will come in next week to take the stitches out.
Another step forward on the road back to normality - PRAISE THE LORD!
As regards family matters, Sue hopes to be well enough to go to Manchester for Hannah's graduation on Monday; and Jess heard this week that she has passed her first year exams, so that is a blessing too. We will go up to Manchester on Sunday night, as the ceremony starts quite early on Monday; but we can't leave very early as I am preaching on Sunday evening in a local church. The first time since last September.....
Thursday, July 05, 2007
And the consultant said......
"You look fantastic!"
He was of course addressing Sue, not me! And of course he has not seen her since March (or possibly even February), so she has changed dramatically since then. She is much brighter, quite a bit stronger - and of course now she has hair!
He confirmed that the scan results were indeed good; they showed no further growth, nor any evidence of new tumour growth elsewhere. He also said that there comes a point where it is very hard to distinguish between remaining "abnormalities" and scar tissue from "things that may have gone". In short, he was very pleased - as we were!
He has therefore decided that the Groshong line (in her chest) can come out next week (they only have that clinic once a week); then he will arrange an appointment to see him in six weeks time (mid-August); and then a scan mid-September before we go to see him again at the end of September. Dates to be confirmed by post in due course!
So we have much to thank the Lord for, because He has been / is / will continue to be very good to us, giving us strength and peace and hope all the way. We can testify to the blessings we have known since Sue was diagnosed in November, and would even thank Him for ordaining the trial so that we could know the blessing. As somebody said, "If you want to see the rainbow of God's covenant love, there has to be a storm" - and we rejoice in the truth of that. Indeed, to take a verse out of context (dangerous, I know!), we would affirm "This was the Lord's doing, and it is marvellous in our eyes" (Mark 12:11)
If you are a regular reader, thank you for your prayerful interest too! Please pray on, as Sue is not completely better; there is still a long way to go before she will be "normal", and able to manage household matters or walk any great distance. It will for instance be good when she can start driving again, and even be fit to return to work. Who knows what progress may be made over the next three months? We don't - but we have a loving Heavenly Father Who knows already, for our times are in His loving and sovereign hands.
It does of course mean that I will have to find other matters to blog about, or it will all go very quiet for many weeks! So watch this space.....
My thoughts surmount these lower skies,
And look within the veil;
There springs of endless pleasures rise,
The waters never fail.
There I behold, with sweet delight,
The blessed Three in One;
And strong affections fix my sight
On God's incarnate Son.
His promise stands for ever firm,
His grace shall ne'er depart;
He binds my name upon His arm,
And seals it on His heart.
Light are the pains that nature brings:
How short our sorrows are,
When with eternal future things
The present we compare.
I would not be a stranger still
To that celestial place,
Where I forever hope to dwell,
Near my Redeemer's face.
Isaac Watts, 1674-1748
He was of course addressing Sue, not me! And of course he has not seen her since March (or possibly even February), so she has changed dramatically since then. She is much brighter, quite a bit stronger - and of course now she has hair!
He confirmed that the scan results were indeed good; they showed no further growth, nor any evidence of new tumour growth elsewhere. He also said that there comes a point where it is very hard to distinguish between remaining "abnormalities" and scar tissue from "things that may have gone". In short, he was very pleased - as we were!
He has therefore decided that the Groshong line (in her chest) can come out next week (they only have that clinic once a week); then he will arrange an appointment to see him in six weeks time (mid-August); and then a scan mid-September before we go to see him again at the end of September. Dates to be confirmed by post in due course!
So we have much to thank the Lord for, because He has been / is / will continue to be very good to us, giving us strength and peace and hope all the way. We can testify to the blessings we have known since Sue was diagnosed in November, and would even thank Him for ordaining the trial so that we could know the blessing. As somebody said, "If you want to see the rainbow of God's covenant love, there has to be a storm" - and we rejoice in the truth of that. Indeed, to take a verse out of context (dangerous, I know!), we would affirm "This was the Lord's doing, and it is marvellous in our eyes" (Mark 12:11)
If you are a regular reader, thank you for your prayerful interest too! Please pray on, as Sue is not completely better; there is still a long way to go before she will be "normal", and able to manage household matters or walk any great distance. It will for instance be good when she can start driving again, and even be fit to return to work. Who knows what progress may be made over the next three months? We don't - but we have a loving Heavenly Father Who knows already, for our times are in His loving and sovereign hands.
It does of course mean that I will have to find other matters to blog about, or it will all go very quiet for many weeks! So watch this space.....
My thoughts surmount these lower skies,
And look within the veil;
There springs of endless pleasures rise,
The waters never fail.
There I behold, with sweet delight,
The blessed Three in One;
And strong affections fix my sight
On God's incarnate Son.
His promise stands for ever firm,
His grace shall ne'er depart;
He binds my name upon His arm,
And seals it on His heart.
Light are the pains that nature brings:
How short our sorrows are,
When with eternal future things
The present we compare.
I would not be a stranger still
To that celestial place,
Where I forever hope to dwell,
Near my Redeemer's face.
Isaac Watts, 1674-1748
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Ups and downs and ups
Since the last post, the general level of things has been stable, and the general trend has been upward - Praise the Lord!
Although not strong, and therefore still unable to do very much, Sue has been feeling quite well in herself; and her hair continues to grow, which adds a psychological boost. For the weekend of 16th/17th June, both our daughters were home; it was lovely to see them together, and they saw a difference in Sue as they had not seen her for a while. In addition, Sue felt well enough to go to chapel on that Sunday morning, the first time since November/December last year,and received a very warm welcome from the friends there. Truly God is good!
Last weekend (23rd/24th June) was not so good however. She started getting stomach pains on the Saturday; initially we thought it might be indigestion, but it persisted, and she was back on the liquid painkiller, with a certain amount of fear building up. As it was still there on the Monday, she called the doctor, who came and gave her some more pills of a different sort; and thankfully by Tuesday the pain had gone again.
Yesterday the doctor telephoned, to see how she was - which was kind of him. However, even kinder was the fact that, in view of the pain, he thought it would be sensible to see if the results of the scan on 14th June were available - just in case there was any evidence of tumour growth to account for the pain. (We did not expect to get the results until we see the consultant on July 5th.) He was pleased to tell Sue that he had been told the scan results were good,with no evidence of further cancer development. We were pleased too!
So as we face the visit to the consultant we do so with less fear and more peace. We have no idea what he will say, or what the future holds; but join us in prasing the Lord for His kindness and His mercy for - as always - "We praise Him for all that is past, and trust Him for all that's to come!"
Although not strong, and therefore still unable to do very much, Sue has been feeling quite well in herself; and her hair continues to grow, which adds a psychological boost. For the weekend of 16th/17th June, both our daughters were home; it was lovely to see them together, and they saw a difference in Sue as they had not seen her for a while. In addition, Sue felt well enough to go to chapel on that Sunday morning, the first time since November/December last year,and received a very warm welcome from the friends there. Truly God is good!
Last weekend (23rd/24th June) was not so good however. She started getting stomach pains on the Saturday; initially we thought it might be indigestion, but it persisted, and she was back on the liquid painkiller, with a certain amount of fear building up. As it was still there on the Monday, she called the doctor, who came and gave her some more pills of a different sort; and thankfully by Tuesday the pain had gone again.
Yesterday the doctor telephoned, to see how she was - which was kind of him. However, even kinder was the fact that, in view of the pain, he thought it would be sensible to see if the results of the scan on 14th June were available - just in case there was any evidence of tumour growth to account for the pain. (We did not expect to get the results until we see the consultant on July 5th.) He was pleased to tell Sue that he had been told the scan results were good,with no evidence of further cancer development. We were pleased too!
So as we face the visit to the consultant we do so with less fear and more peace. We have no idea what he will say, or what the future holds; but join us in prasing the Lord for His kindness and His mercy for - as always - "We praise Him for all that is past, and trust Him for all that's to come!"
Friday, June 15, 2007
Now we wait....
We duly went for a scan on Thursday. The preparation takes about an hour, during which Sue has to drink a bottle of special white liquid (aniseed tasting I believe!); and then, towards the end of that hour, one of the assistants comes and puts her in a cubicle so she can get changed into one of the hospital gowns, which tie up at the back. She was however wearing a long cardigan, which they suggested she kept on, as it was not very warm yesterday.
In the event, it was just as well that she did, as she was waiting, in her cardigan and gown, when the fire alarm went off -- and the department had to be evacuated.....
It was a false alarm, caused by some of the workmen in the Department (there is a lot of building work going on); but of course they have to take all such events seriously. Mercifully it was not raining at the time! We were eventually allowed back in, and then the scan itself only took about 10 minutes.
Now, after waiting for the day of the scan, we have to wait for the results, which (unless they call us in earlier) we will find out when we attend the hospital for the next scheduled appointment on July 5.
But thinking of waiting made me think of a variety of scriptures, which in a way fall into a variety of groups. There are some which show an attitude of waiting patiently for the Lord to act on our behalf:-
Psa 37:7 Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for him:
Psa 62:5 My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him.
There are others that are more about waiting on the Lord for needed (and promised) grace mercy and strength for all that He sends into our lives :-
Psa 25:5 Lead me in thy truth, and teach me: for thou art the God of my salvation; on thee do I wait all the day.
Psa 27:14 Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.
Psa 130:5 I wait for the LORD, my soul doth wait, and in his word do I hope.
Isa 40:31 But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
Lam 3:25 The LORD is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him.
And then of course there are those that encourage us to look forward with eagerness, and preparedness, for the great day when we shall see Him!:-
Isa 8:17 And I will wait upon the LORD, that hideth his face from the house of Jacob, and I will look for him.
Luk 12:36 And ye yourselves like unto men that wait for their lord, when he will return from the wedding; that when he cometh and knocketh, they may open unto him immediately.
1Th 1:10 And to wait for his Son from heaven, whom he raised from the dead, even Jesus, which delivered us from the wrath to come.
Jas 5:8 Be ye also patient; stablish your hearts: for the coming of the Lord draweth nigh.
What a day that will be! What a prospect it is! and in comparison, what is a few days wait for test results, whatever they show?
But, Lord, 'tis for Thee, for Thy coming, we wait;
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
O trump of the angel! O voice of the Lord!
Blesséd hope! Blesséd rest of my soul!
Horatio Gates Spafford, 1828-88
In the event, it was just as well that she did, as she was waiting, in her cardigan and gown, when the fire alarm went off -- and the department had to be evacuated.....
It was a false alarm, caused by some of the workmen in the Department (there is a lot of building work going on); but of course they have to take all such events seriously. Mercifully it was not raining at the time! We were eventually allowed back in, and then the scan itself only took about 10 minutes.
Now, after waiting for the day of the scan, we have to wait for the results, which (unless they call us in earlier) we will find out when we attend the hospital for the next scheduled appointment on July 5.
But thinking of waiting made me think of a variety of scriptures, which in a way fall into a variety of groups. There are some which show an attitude of waiting patiently for the Lord to act on our behalf:-
Psa 37:7 Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for him:
Psa 62:5 My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him.
There are others that are more about waiting on the Lord for needed (and promised) grace mercy and strength for all that He sends into our lives :-
Psa 25:5 Lead me in thy truth, and teach me: for thou art the God of my salvation; on thee do I wait all the day.
Psa 27:14 Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.
Psa 130:5 I wait for the LORD, my soul doth wait, and in his word do I hope.
Isa 40:31 But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
Lam 3:25 The LORD is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him.
And then of course there are those that encourage us to look forward with eagerness, and preparedness, for the great day when we shall see Him!:-
Isa 8:17 And I will wait upon the LORD, that hideth his face from the house of Jacob, and I will look for him.
Luk 12:36 And ye yourselves like unto men that wait for their lord, when he will return from the wedding; that when he cometh and knocketh, they may open unto him immediately.
1Th 1:10 And to wait for his Son from heaven, whom he raised from the dead, even Jesus, which delivered us from the wrath to come.
Jas 5:8 Be ye also patient; stablish your hearts: for the coming of the Lord draweth nigh.
What a day that will be! What a prospect it is! and in comparison, what is a few days wait for test results, whatever they show?
But, Lord, 'tis for Thee, for Thy coming, we wait;
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
O trump of the angel! O voice of the Lord!
Blesséd hope! Blesséd rest of my soul!
Horatio Gates Spafford, 1828-88
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Interlude III
In one sense nothing is happening at the moment. We are still having a chemo break; the next "booking" is for a scan on June 14th, and then back to see the doctor on July 5th (unless called in early when scan results available - we shall see).
But in reality we have much to thank the Lord for. There is the emotional /psychological effect of Sue's hair starting to grow again! There is also a measure of physical improvement; she continues to be quite bright in herself, not much pain recently, and able to go for a short walk last Saturday. She is able to read a little too.
But we would not forget that there are the mercies of each new day - so often taken for granted
"It is of the LORD'S mercies that we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is Thy faithfulness. The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in Him. The LORD is good unto them that wait for Him, to the soul that seeketh Him. It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD"( Lam 3:23-26)
We are therefore seeking to "rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him", and also to "praise Him for all that is past, and trust Him for all that's to come".
Look back, my soul, and see
The One who died for thee;
Bearing God's wrath upon the cross,
That He might set thee free.
Look up and see Him there,
The Father's Son enthroned;
The One who reigns in glory now,
Having for sin atoned.
Look down and see the hell
From which He hath saved thee;
Look round and wonder, why such grace
Should choose to look on thee ?
Look forward to seeing Him!
When world and life shall wane,
We'll praise for ever, and will love
The Lamb for sinners slain.
But in reality we have much to thank the Lord for. There is the emotional /psychological effect of Sue's hair starting to grow again! There is also a measure of physical improvement; she continues to be quite bright in herself, not much pain recently, and able to go for a short walk last Saturday. She is able to read a little too.
But we would not forget that there are the mercies of each new day - so often taken for granted
"It is of the LORD'S mercies that we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is Thy faithfulness. The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in Him. The LORD is good unto them that wait for Him, to the soul that seeketh Him. It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD"( Lam 3:23-26)
We are therefore seeking to "rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him", and also to "praise Him for all that is past, and trust Him for all that's to come".
Look back, my soul, and see
The One who died for thee;
Bearing God's wrath upon the cross,
That He might set thee free.
Look up and see Him there,
The Father's Son enthroned;
The One who reigns in glory now,
Having for sin atoned.
Look down and see the hell
From which He hath saved thee;
Look round and wonder, why such grace
Should choose to look on thee ?
Look forward to seeing Him!
When world and life shall wane,
We'll praise for ever, and will love
The Lamb for sinners slain.
Saturday, May 26, 2007
And what happened?
After a four-week break from the chemo regime, we had an appointment at the hospital last Thursday, so we went in the hope that we would learn more about what was to happen next.
In fact, the doctor we saw (not the consultant, or the registrar we saw the last time) just asked how Sue was, and a few more questions, prodded and poked her stomach a bit, then said he would arrange a scan in the next few weeks and after that another appointment - which, due due to clinics being full and/or cancelled - will not be until 5th July.
So we leave it all in the Lord's hands, for His timing of events is best and His timetable of disclosing things to us is perfect.
Leave God to order all thy ways,
And hope in Him whate'er betide,
Thou'lt find Him in the evil days
Thy all-sufficient strength and guide;
Who trusts in God's unchanging love,
Builds on the rock that nought can move.
What can these anxious cares avail,
These never-ceasing moans and sighs?
What can it help us to bewail
Each painful moment as it flies?
Our cross and trials do but press
The heavier for our bitterness.
Only thy restless heart keep still,
And wait in cheerful hope; content
To take whate'er His gracious will,
His all-discerning love hath sent;
Nor doubt our inmost wants are known
To Him who chose us for His own.
He knows when joyful hours are best,
He sends them as He sees it meet;
When thou hast borne the fiery test,
And now art freed from all deceit,
He comes to thee all unaware,
And makes thee own His loving care.
Nor in the heat of pain and strife,
Think God hath cast thee off unheard,
And that the man, whose prosperous life
Thou enviest, is of Him preferred;
Time passes and much change doth bring,
And sets a bound to everything.
All are alike before His face;
'Tis easy to our God most High
To make the rich man poor and base,
To give the poor man wealth and joy.
True wonders still by Him are wrought,
Who setteth up, and brings to nought.
Sing, pray, and swerve not from His ways,
But do thine own part faithfully,
Trust His rich promises of grace,
So shall they be fulfilled in thee;
God never yet forsook in need
The soul that trusted Him indeed.
Georg Christian Neumark, 1621-1681
Translated by Catherine Winkworth 1827-1878
In fact, the doctor we saw (not the consultant, or the registrar we saw the last time) just asked how Sue was, and a few more questions, prodded and poked her stomach a bit, then said he would arrange a scan in the next few weeks and after that another appointment - which, due due to clinics being full and/or cancelled - will not be until 5th July.
So we leave it all in the Lord's hands, for His timing of events is best and His timetable of disclosing things to us is perfect.
Leave God to order all thy ways,
And hope in Him whate'er betide,
Thou'lt find Him in the evil days
Thy all-sufficient strength and guide;
Who trusts in God's unchanging love,
Builds on the rock that nought can move.
What can these anxious cares avail,
These never-ceasing moans and sighs?
What can it help us to bewail
Each painful moment as it flies?
Our cross and trials do but press
The heavier for our bitterness.
Only thy restless heart keep still,
And wait in cheerful hope; content
To take whate'er His gracious will,
His all-discerning love hath sent;
Nor doubt our inmost wants are known
To Him who chose us for His own.
He knows when joyful hours are best,
He sends them as He sees it meet;
When thou hast borne the fiery test,
And now art freed from all deceit,
He comes to thee all unaware,
And makes thee own His loving care.
Nor in the heat of pain and strife,
Think God hath cast thee off unheard,
And that the man, whose prosperous life
Thou enviest, is of Him preferred;
Time passes and much change doth bring,
And sets a bound to everything.
All are alike before His face;
'Tis easy to our God most High
To make the rich man poor and base,
To give the poor man wealth and joy.
True wonders still by Him are wrought,
Who setteth up, and brings to nought.
Sing, pray, and swerve not from His ways,
But do thine own part faithfully,
Trust His rich promises of grace,
So shall they be fulfilled in thee;
God never yet forsook in need
The soul that trusted Him indeed.
Georg Christian Neumark, 1621-1681
Translated by Catherine Winkworth 1827-1878
Monday, May 21, 2007
Interlude II
Sue is going on well, albeit quietly, so - while we await the next hospital appointment next Thursday (24th) - I thought I would post another hymn :-
"His way is best!" – 'Tis easy
When all around is light;
When men are kind, and all's well,
With no dark cloud in sight.
But when comes down the darkness
Of sickness or of pain,
Of persecution, terror –
'Tis hard faith to retain.
And when your loved ones leave you,
And when the future's bleak,
When hopes are dashed and doubts rise,
And you feel frail and weak;
When no one knows how you feel,
And you feel all alone –
Remember then your Saviour
Who sits upon the throne.
For He was once among us,
He felt your pain and woe;
And now He is your Shepherd,
Who'll never let you go.
But more, He is the God-Man
Who knows the future too –
And He will full accomplish
His perfect plan for you.
He loves His blood-bought people,
He knows your every fear;
He understands supremely,
And stores up every tear.
So as you face the future,
Although to you unknown,
Trust in your sovereign Saviour
Who has made you His own.
"His way is best!" – 'Tis easy
When all around is light;
When men are kind, and all's well,
With no dark cloud in sight.
But when comes down the darkness
Of sickness or of pain,
Of persecution, terror –
'Tis hard faith to retain.
And when your loved ones leave you,
And when the future's bleak,
When hopes are dashed and doubts rise,
And you feel frail and weak;
When no one knows how you feel,
And you feel all alone –
Remember then your Saviour
Who sits upon the throne.
For He was once among us,
He felt your pain and woe;
And now He is your Shepherd,
Who'll never let you go.
But more, He is the God-Man
Who knows the future too –
And He will full accomplish
His perfect plan for you.
He loves His blood-bought people,
He knows your every fear;
He understands supremely,
And stores up every tear.
So as you face the future,
Although to you unknown,
Trust in your sovereign Saviour
Who has made you His own.
Monday, May 07, 2007
Interlude
As you will know, in the goodness of the Lord Sue is having a break from the chemo for a few weeks. We are due to see the consultant on May 24th; what happens after that is unknown to us, but known and planned by our Heavenly Father who will give us - as the need arises - all the grace and and strength we need to cross each bridge we come to in the way to glory.
Meanwhile, rather than leave the blog dormant for a month,I thought I would post some hymns, and this is one that "came to my attention" before the service last night. I found it helpful to meditate on for a few minutes, as many have done over the years; the truths are timeless, as is evidenced by the fact that the author and the translator lived so long ago. Our God is the LORD, and He never changes and is always faithful.
Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side;
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.
Be still, my soul: thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence, let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while He dwelt below.
Be still, my soul: the hour is hastening on
When we shall be for ever with the Lord;
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.
Katherina von Schlegel, b. 1697
Translated by Jane Laurie Borthwick, 1837-1897
Meanwhile, rather than leave the blog dormant for a month,I thought I would post some hymns, and this is one that "came to my attention" before the service last night. I found it helpful to meditate on for a few minutes, as many have done over the years; the truths are timeless, as is evidenced by the fact that the author and the translator lived so long ago. Our God is the LORD, and He never changes and is always faithful.
Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side;
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.
Be still, my soul: thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence, let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while He dwelt below.
Be still, my soul: the hour is hastening on
When we shall be for ever with the Lord;
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.
Katherina von Schlegel, b. 1697
Translated by Jane Laurie Borthwick, 1837-1897
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Praise and thanksgiving!
"O give thanks unto the LORD for He is good; for His mercy endureth for ever" (Psalm 107:1)
"The righteous shall be glad in the LORD, and shall trust in Him; and all the upright in heart shall glory" (Psalm 64:10)
"The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in Him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise Him" (Psalm 28:7)
"O magnify the LORD with me, and let us exalt His name together" (Psalm 34:3)
"…..that the abundant grace might through the thanksgiving of many redound to the glory of God" (II Cor 4:15)
You will have guessed from the above that we have good news to share!
We have been to the hospital three days in a row – 12 hours for a blood transfusion on Sunday, 1.5 hours for a scan yesterday, and then to outpatients today. Bearing in mind that the results of the first scan took a week, we were not over-hopeful about the results from yesterday being available today; but they were. Although not using the words "cure" or "remission", and although cautious enough to day that there were still "some lymph node abnormalities", the doctor did say that Sue's liver looked "much better". She therefore proposed that the chemo due today (a pump-sack top-up) should be cancelled; and also that all treatment should be put on hold for four weeks, to give Sue a break.
So – PRAISE THE LORD!
Our brothers and sisters in Christ from so many churches and fellowships have been so good in praying for us, and we are therefore delighted to be able to share the good news of answered prayer with you. We will still need (and very much value) your prayers in the coming days; we have no idea at this stage what will happen when we go back in four week's time, or thereafter, and Sue is still quite weak. But the good news today is a great lift for us all, and the break will do her good – and she may even feel like going out for a meal for her birthday next month!
Meanwhile, rejoice with us! And – without in any way minimising the care shown by the medical staff, and their expertise, and the drugs at their disposal – give God the glory!
"The righteous shall be glad in the LORD, and shall trust in Him; and all the upright in heart shall glory" (Psalm 64:10)
"The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in Him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise Him" (Psalm 28:7)
"O magnify the LORD with me, and let us exalt His name together" (Psalm 34:3)
"…..that the abundant grace might through the thanksgiving of many redound to the glory of God" (II Cor 4:15)
You will have guessed from the above that we have good news to share!
We have been to the hospital three days in a row – 12 hours for a blood transfusion on Sunday, 1.5 hours for a scan yesterday, and then to outpatients today. Bearing in mind that the results of the first scan took a week, we were not over-hopeful about the results from yesterday being available today; but they were. Although not using the words "cure" or "remission", and although cautious enough to day that there were still "some lymph node abnormalities", the doctor did say that Sue's liver looked "much better". She therefore proposed that the chemo due today (a pump-sack top-up) should be cancelled; and also that all treatment should be put on hold for four weeks, to give Sue a break.
So – PRAISE THE LORD!
Our brothers and sisters in Christ from so many churches and fellowships have been so good in praying for us, and we are therefore delighted to be able to share the good news of answered prayer with you. We will still need (and very much value) your prayers in the coming days; we have no idea at this stage what will happen when we go back in four week's time, or thereafter, and Sue is still quite weak. But the good news today is a great lift for us all, and the break will do her good – and she may even feel like going out for a meal for her birthday next month!
Meanwhile, rejoice with us! And – without in any way minimising the care shown by the medical staff, and their expertise, and the drugs at their disposal – give God the glory!
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Prompt post!
Sue had the intravenous/overnight stay chemo two weeks ago, and the side-effects always take a few days to come out. As a result she was quite low last week, not much appetite or interest in anything - eventually starting to pick up by about Thursday. But then she developed a throat infection, so had (indeed, still has) a job to eat or talk. The doctor came on Friday and gave her some antibiotics, which hopefully will kick in soon; but the blood test showed that her blood count has dropped. As a result, they decided (at the normal Tuesday outpatient clinic yesterday) that they would postpone the chemo (the weekly pumpsack top-up) for this week, and give her a blood transfusion. However, that can't be done until Saturday (and that depends on a bed being free anyway, as it will take 5-6 hours).
She also has a scan due next Monday, the results of which will be compared to the "pictures" they took at the beginning of February (and those from the original scan in November) - then the consultant will decide what happens next. The results, and future treatment options, are in the Lord's hands - as we are; and that's the best place to be!
She also has a scan due next Monday, the results of which will be compared to the "pictures" they took at the beginning of February (and those from the original scan in November) - then the consultant will decide what happens next. The results, and future treatment options, are in the Lord's hands - as we are; and that's the best place to be!
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