A dear sister in Christ died yesterday after many a long month of frailty. In her 90's, she - and her dear companion - had been part of my church family for around 30 years. Now, after many years of being a faithful pilgrim, she is with the Saviour she loved.
This world is not our home,
We're only passing through.
We have the joys and toils and cares
Just as the godless do.
We see the varying hues
Of Autumn, Winter, Spring;
But we detect in all these things
The hand of our great King.
But one day soon we'll leave
These passing things behind;
For He will call us, and we shall
Eternal glories find.
For if we're come to faith
Been saved by precious grace,
The glories of His heavenly home
Are outshone by His face.
O dear Lord Jesus Christ,
Our Master and our King,
Thy love is great and glorious,
Of Thee we love to sing.
O make us pilgrims, Lord,
Detached from all we see,
Not loving what we cannot keep,
Longing to be with Thee.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Thursday, October 25, 2007
A bit brighter....
After a fairly traumatic weekend, we went to the hospital on Tuesday – and waited…..
The clinic was running about 3 hours late, so including time waiting to be called, waiting for the doctor after being called, time with him, then going to the pharmacy and waiting there – it was a long day. I think we got to the hospital about 10:30 am, and it was nearly 3pm when we left. Still, it is a blessing to have the facilities quite close; as I have said before, there is no complaining in the waiting room, everybody knows they will have a long wait – and many have much further to travel than we do.
We didn’t see either the consultant nor one of the registrars, but a junior doctor (whom we have seen before). He asked lots of questions about various symptoms, felt her stomach and listened to her lungs, and then adjusted the medication by increasing the pain killers, extending the steroid course, and also giving Sue some mouthwash to help with her mouth and throat which (possibly as a result of the steroids) are (in his words) "Ooh, that IS sore!".
Sine then Sue has been a little brighter – even a smile when I got home last night, whereas last week I was more likely to be greeted with tears. She seems not quite so downcast, and her appetite is a little better. Suffice to say that for the last two mornings she has called me out of the study to ask for breakfast quite early - 5:30 yesterday and 5:45 today!
It is a real blessing to be able to spend time together reading His word, listening to sermons from a good friend in America, and in prayer. Truly the Lord continues to be gracious to us as a family, in supporting us, granting us His peace, and enabling us to trust Him who loves us so incredibly.As the Apostle says "Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ: by Whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God."It is indeed all of grace!
PS She has not been so good today - in fact not with it at all, and mostly asleep. However, that is probably due to the fact that while I was out doing the shopping early this morning, she thought she would "help" by getting her tablets out. They are in one of those compartment boxes, one "pot" for the morning and the other "pot" for the evening. When I got home she confessed to "having got in a muddle"; and I found that she had taken both lots (including a sleeping tablet) together........!
The clinic was running about 3 hours late, so including time waiting to be called, waiting for the doctor after being called, time with him, then going to the pharmacy and waiting there – it was a long day. I think we got to the hospital about 10:30 am, and it was nearly 3pm when we left. Still, it is a blessing to have the facilities quite close; as I have said before, there is no complaining in the waiting room, everybody knows they will have a long wait – and many have much further to travel than we do.
We didn’t see either the consultant nor one of the registrars, but a junior doctor (whom we have seen before). He asked lots of questions about various symptoms, felt her stomach and listened to her lungs, and then adjusted the medication by increasing the pain killers, extending the steroid course, and also giving Sue some mouthwash to help with her mouth and throat which (possibly as a result of the steroids) are (in his words) "Ooh, that IS sore!".
Sine then Sue has been a little brighter – even a smile when I got home last night, whereas last week I was more likely to be greeted with tears. She seems not quite so downcast, and her appetite is a little better. Suffice to say that for the last two mornings she has called me out of the study to ask for breakfast quite early - 5:30 yesterday and 5:45 today!
It is a real blessing to be able to spend time together reading His word, listening to sermons from a good friend in America, and in prayer. Truly the Lord continues to be gracious to us as a family, in supporting us, granting us His peace, and enabling us to trust Him who loves us so incredibly.As the Apostle says "Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ: by Whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God."It is indeed all of grace!
PS She has not been so good today - in fact not with it at all, and mostly asleep. However, that is probably due to the fact that while I was out doing the shopping early this morning, she thought she would "help" by getting her tablets out. They are in one of those compartment boxes, one "pot" for the morning and the other "pot" for the evening. When I got home she confessed to "having got in a muddle"; and I found that she had taken both lots (including a sleeping tablet) together........!
Monday, October 22, 2007
For those who prayed....
Thank you for praying - but I did not make it to chapel last night.
I was very reluctant to let them down at such short notice, but Sue's cousin (who runs the chapel) was very understanding. Sue was in a great deal of pain, and I could not leave her.She had been in similar pain on Saturday evening, to the extent that we called the district nurses out; although very nice they couldn't do anything to help.They then asked the on-call doctor to phone us, but she only asked a few questions and then said "see how you are in the morning". So last night we just managed on extra morphine, and eventually she went off to sleep.
Please remember her in prayer - body, mind, and soul.
I was very reluctant to let them down at such short notice, but Sue's cousin (who runs the chapel) was very understanding. Sue was in a great deal of pain, and I could not leave her.She had been in similar pain on Saturday evening, to the extent that we called the district nurses out; although very nice they couldn't do anything to help.They then asked the on-call doctor to phone us, but she only asked a few questions and then said "see how you are in the morning". So last night we just managed on extra morphine, and eventually she went off to sleep.
Please remember her in prayer - body, mind, and soul.
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Pills and pains
A quick update on what has happened over the last couple of weeks.....
When we saw the consultant, he proposed that Sue should have a course of steroids for a couple of weeks, and a blood transfusion, in the hope that the combination would give her a lift.
After a cross-match blood-test on Thursday, she duly had the transfusion yesterday. As it started about 10am, I was expecting it to finish around 4pm (two units can take anywhere from 4 to 8 hours); but in the end she finished about 3pm. An extra blessing was that Jess came home from Uni for the weekend unexpectedly - so she was able to go and collect Sue as a nice surprise.
The steroids have however had some sad side-effects. We found later that they lower your resistance to viruses etc - explaining why Sue has has had ear-ache and a sore throat, so that she can hardly talk. They also exacerbate depression - explaining why Sue was on and off in tears for most of last week. However, the higher dosage period (4 per day) gave way to a lower dosage (2 per day) last week; and she has been slightly brighter since. She does however still have pain in her stomach to some extent, is still tired, still quite weak - and is now suffering from backache....
In addition, it was helpful to see the GP (local doctor for USA readers!), who called in on Monday as Sue wanted some reassurance. He was lovely, while at the same time realistic; he reminded us that we had always been told that the cancer would not go away, but he also said he thought Sue had done remarkably well to be as well as she is. Little does he know how many people have been praying! THANKYOU ONE AND ALL!
The next stage will be to see the consultant again on Tuesday 23rd, and we will see what he suggests about the way forward. Update on that to follow!
Meanwhile - for those interested in such things - I would value prayer for tomorrow, as God willing I will be preaching at a small Baptist church in a small local village in the evening. It's the one where Sue and Vera worshipped for many years, and even now most of those who worship there are related to us. If we can all go that would be good (even Vera's brother, who used to run it, would like a lift too); but we will have to see if Sue is up to it. Days are long and evenings are difficult sometimes. We look to the Lord, who gives daily grace and mercy.
When we saw the consultant, he proposed that Sue should have a course of steroids for a couple of weeks, and a blood transfusion, in the hope that the combination would give her a lift.
After a cross-match blood-test on Thursday, she duly had the transfusion yesterday. As it started about 10am, I was expecting it to finish around 4pm (two units can take anywhere from 4 to 8 hours); but in the end she finished about 3pm. An extra blessing was that Jess came home from Uni for the weekend unexpectedly - so she was able to go and collect Sue as a nice surprise.
The steroids have however had some sad side-effects. We found later that they lower your resistance to viruses etc - explaining why Sue has has had ear-ache and a sore throat, so that she can hardly talk. They also exacerbate depression - explaining why Sue was on and off in tears for most of last week. However, the higher dosage period (4 per day) gave way to a lower dosage (2 per day) last week; and she has been slightly brighter since. She does however still have pain in her stomach to some extent, is still tired, still quite weak - and is now suffering from backache....
In addition, it was helpful to see the GP (local doctor for USA readers!), who called in on Monday as Sue wanted some reassurance. He was lovely, while at the same time realistic; he reminded us that we had always been told that the cancer would not go away, but he also said he thought Sue had done remarkably well to be as well as she is. Little does he know how many people have been praying! THANKYOU ONE AND ALL!
The next stage will be to see the consultant again on Tuesday 23rd, and we will see what he suggests about the way forward. Update on that to follow!
Meanwhile - for those interested in such things - I would value prayer for tomorrow, as God willing I will be preaching at a small Baptist church in a small local village in the evening. It's the one where Sue and Vera worshipped for many years, and even now most of those who worship there are related to us. If we can all go that would be good (even Vera's brother, who used to run it, would like a lift too); but we will have to see if Sue is up to it. Days are long and evenings are difficult sometimes. We look to the Lord, who gives daily grace and mercy.
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Slower than we thought
That's the progress of the cancer, not the good old NHS! True, we did have to wait quite a while; but that's because there are so many very ill people to be seen. The Oncology clinics are are always busy, lasting many hours, and it is a tribute to the dedication of the doctors and staff that they keep going as they do.
We went and saw the consultant this morning (well, afternoon actually!). He told us that the CT scan results (the ones Sue has been having every three months) showed no measurable deterioration, which was good. In addition, the ultrasound scan she had last week showed that there were no blockages (another matter they were concerned about); so that was good too. HOWEVER, the liver results (not quite sure how or when that was measured) show that there is still something not right - but to what extent they have not been able to measure as yet. The cancer is therefore still "on the move", but slowly.
He therefore proposed a course of steroids from today (I have to go back to the hospital later to collect them), and a blood transfusion next week; then go back and see him in a couple of weeks, hopefully feeling much better, for further thoughts on the way forward.
As Sue said (quoting Joseph Hart, the hymnwriter) "How good is the God we adore, our faithful unchangeable friend....we'll praise Him for all that is past, and trust Him for all that's to come"
We went and saw the consultant this morning (well, afternoon actually!). He told us that the CT scan results (the ones Sue has been having every three months) showed no measurable deterioration, which was good. In addition, the ultrasound scan she had last week showed that there were no blockages (another matter they were concerned about); so that was good too. HOWEVER, the liver results (not quite sure how or when that was measured) show that there is still something not right - but to what extent they have not been able to measure as yet. The cancer is therefore still "on the move", but slowly.
He therefore proposed a course of steroids from today (I have to go back to the hospital later to collect them), and a blood transfusion next week; then go back and see him in a couple of weeks, hopefully feeling much better, for further thoughts on the way forward.
As Sue said (quoting Joseph Hart, the hymnwriter) "How good is the God we adore, our faithful unchangeable friend....we'll praise Him for all that is past, and trust Him for all that's to come"
Friday, October 05, 2007
Home again but....
This is a quick post to bring everybody up to date.
As I said yesterday, the doctors were concerned by the combination of pain, tiredness, and possible jaundice.
The ultrasound scan today showed that the cancer has returned to the liver.
Sue has therefore been allowed home for the weekend, the intention being that early next week we will get an appointment with the consultant that we usually see, so that the situation can be reviewed and the plan for the future can be explained.
Not unexpected - eleven months to the day that she was first admitted - but nonetheless a test of faith. It was wonderful that, just as we were leaving the ward, a dear friend who is a former Pastor and also on the chaplaincy team at the hospital, came in. He had only come to see Sue, so instead he came home with us and had a cup of tea and a time of prayer. In such times, prayer - confident, trusting prayer addressed to a loving Heavenly Father - is a great comfort.
The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever. (Psalm 23)
As I said yesterday, the doctors were concerned by the combination of pain, tiredness, and possible jaundice.
The ultrasound scan today showed that the cancer has returned to the liver.
Sue has therefore been allowed home for the weekend, the intention being that early next week we will get an appointment with the consultant that we usually see, so that the situation can be reviewed and the plan for the future can be explained.
Not unexpected - eleven months to the day that she was first admitted - but nonetheless a test of faith. It was wonderful that, just as we were leaving the ward, a dear friend who is a former Pastor and also on the chaplaincy team at the hospital, came in. He had only come to see Sue, so instead he came home with us and had a cup of tea and a time of prayer. In such times, prayer - confident, trusting prayer addressed to a loving Heavenly Father - is a great comfort.
The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever. (Psalm 23)
Thursday, October 04, 2007
Trusting
We went as planned to the hospital this afternoon, for the official comment on the results of the scan taken two weeks ago.
The impression given was that the results were not particularly better or worse than the picture shown by the last one (taken mid-June); so that was encouraging. However, during the conversation about the frequency and degree of pain that Sue has, the doctor (the registrar not the consultant) commented that she thought Sue looked a little jaundiced. Jaundice being of course liver-related, and the cancer being in the liver area, the doctor thought it best for Sue to be admitted.
So, having got to the hospital about 4pm for the outpatients appointment, by 6pm I was on my way home to pack a suitcase - trying to think back to the early part of the year when that was a frequent happening, and what I needed to put in!
After I got back to the hospital, another doctor came to see Sue, asked loads more questions, and also listened (stethoscope)/poked/prodded/felt etc. She then said that the stomach pain was one thing, the jaundice was another - and there might also be a build up of fluid around her stomach too. They have therefore requested an ultrasound scan; and when they have the results of that, they will be in a better position to decide what to do next. However, she could not be certain that the scan would be done tomorrow - so it looks like a weekend (at least) in hospital.
Sue was of course upset initially, partly because of having to stay in hospital again without warning, and also partly of what may lie ahead in terms of treatment. She did however calm down before I left her for the evening; and at least she has a nice room to herself at the moment (we hope she won't get moved later).
So - a strange providence allowed (better, planned) by our Heavenly Father, Who knows best and Who has Sue's circumstances in His care. He is after all "the One in Whose hand her breath is, and Whose are all her ways". We trust Him, because He loves us - and we leave the coming days in His wise and loving hands, knowing that He will give us the strength we need as we need it, and that He will never leave us nor forsake us.
What a Saviour we have!
The impression given was that the results were not particularly better or worse than the picture shown by the last one (taken mid-June); so that was encouraging. However, during the conversation about the frequency and degree of pain that Sue has, the doctor (the registrar not the consultant) commented that she thought Sue looked a little jaundiced. Jaundice being of course liver-related, and the cancer being in the liver area, the doctor thought it best for Sue to be admitted.
So, having got to the hospital about 4pm for the outpatients appointment, by 6pm I was on my way home to pack a suitcase - trying to think back to the early part of the year when that was a frequent happening, and what I needed to put in!
After I got back to the hospital, another doctor came to see Sue, asked loads more questions, and also listened (stethoscope)/poked/prodded/felt etc. She then said that the stomach pain was one thing, the jaundice was another - and there might also be a build up of fluid around her stomach too. They have therefore requested an ultrasound scan; and when they have the results of that, they will be in a better position to decide what to do next. However, she could not be certain that the scan would be done tomorrow - so it looks like a weekend (at least) in hospital.
Sue was of course upset initially, partly because of having to stay in hospital again without warning, and also partly of what may lie ahead in terms of treatment. She did however calm down before I left her for the evening; and at least she has a nice room to herself at the moment (we hope she won't get moved later).
So - a strange providence allowed (better, planned) by our Heavenly Father, Who knows best and Who has Sue's circumstances in His care. He is after all "the One in Whose hand her breath is, and Whose are all her ways". We trust Him, because He loves us - and we leave the coming days in His wise and loving hands, knowing that He will give us the strength we need as we need it, and that He will never leave us nor forsake us.
What a Saviour we have!
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