After all this time, I have no idea if anybody reads this now - but I thought I should post something today, to mark the day. It would have been our 25th wedding anniversary. So out came the album (I knew it was in the loft somewhere!) - and out came the memories .............
I've had three cards, and some friends that I happened to speak to on the phone said they were thinking of me; perhaps others thought, but (not surprisingly) didn't know what to say. Vera and I have shared some memories though, and we have got through the day. I suppose the words on the front of one card sum it up :-
Thinking of you ....
The Lord is my strength and my shield;
My heart trusts in Him, and I am helped.
Psalm 28:7
Is there bitterness? No.
Is there jealousy of those who get to celebrate their silver, or gold, or ruby, or whatever anniversaries? None at all (even though my Dad managed TWO Silvers!)
Is there sadness? Not really.
Is there emptiness and hopelessness? Not at all.
Although not denying the harder times, I am just thankful for the happy times, the many blessings we were privileged to enjoy together. We had nearly 25 years of health and happiness, far more comfort and privilege than many have, many good friends, several lovely holidays (mostly in Cornwall!) - and of course two lovely daughters. When you think of all the marriages that fall apart so easily today (with all the consequent damage to children), when you think of all the marriages that are just empty shells "for public view only" (but all pain and heartache on the locked-in-inside), when you think of all those who are married but cannot have children, when you think of all those who would love to be married - but aren't...... I have so much to be thankful for.
We laughed a lot, we cried a bit. We enjoyed one another's company. We knew each other well enough to communicate with eye-contact, a lifted eyebrow, a blown kiss - and the comfort of simply walking hand in hand. And of course we worshipped the Lord together, we sang His praise together, and we listened to sermons together. Some of the best times we had over the last few months were listening to sermons at home, mostly on CD from our very good friend in the States - and sharing the blessings and comforts that true soul-food provides.
Am I sad? Only when I write something like this.
Am I fearful of the future? No.
Am I lonely? Sometimes - but I know that the Lord will never leave me nor forsake me. He will always be with me, until one day He calls me to be with Him.
As I said to so many after Sue's funeral - she is but gone ahead a little way. It is not an ending, but a parting; and the time between our anticipated reunion before the Lord, and now, is minimal compared to eternity. And then shall we be forever with the Lord, saved by His grace.
How good is the God we adore,
Our faithful unchangeable Friend!
His love is as great as His power,
And knows neither measure nor end.
'Tis Jesus, the First and the Last,
Whose Spirit shall guide us safe home;
We'll praise Him for all that is past,
And trust Him for all that's to come.
(Joseph Hart 1712-1768)
