I was thinking I ought to mark the occasion in some way today - not that "21 weeks" is (as such) anything special , but just to acknowledge that it was 21 weeks ago today that Sue went into hospital for the first time.
Not that we had any idea what the problem was at that stage; a blessing yet in store! She went in, in great pain (which, in the end, was actually diagnosed as pneumonia) very early on the Saturday, and went from A&E onto the ward within a few hours. They did all sorts of tests and x-rays and scans over the weekend, followed by a liver biopsy on the Thursday (9th); but it was not until the following Thursday (16th) that the consultant confirmed his diagnosis of cancer. However, even then we were at peace, having prayed ourselves and knowing that we were being prayed for.
Much has happened since then; but, in it all and through it all, the Lord our God has been SO GOOD to us and blessed us in so many ways that we have to publicly give thanks for all His grace and mercy. Some dear brothers and sisters in Christ have offered financial help; others have provided practical help, such as two or three meals per week, or just phoned/visited to ask how we are. Thankyou to all those who have ministered to us in such ways!
The Lord has also prompted many people to pray for us, in many fellowships far beyond ours, and in several countries; if you have been (and are) praying for us, I thank the Lord for YOU and your concern for us. Please be assured that your prayers are being answered as we continue to be upheld by the grace and mercy of the Lord and the love of His people. Many of you I do not expect to meet this side of glory; but it is surely a proof of the reality of the bonds of "love in the Lord and for His sake" that so many people have pleaded for us at the throne of grace. I look forward to meeting you there!
As regards the current situation, it is certainly true that Sue looks different to how she looked 21 weeks ago - and how she looked (say) 10 weeks ago. Over the weeks of chemotherapy she has lost virtually all of her hair, and about 30lb in weight. But whereas there was a time when (with the chemo and the painkillers etc) she looked tired most of the time and "glazed"/"not quite with it" around the eyes, and had a job to put two words together, now - thank the Lord! - she is much better most of the time. She still gets pain, to some degree, most days at some point; she is still weak and wobbly, and feels "safe" in bed; and sometimes her hands are quite shaky. But the smiles are more frequent; conversation is getting easier; and there is often something of the old "sparkle in her eyes" that is VERY GOOD to see! We hope that, as the lighter evenings come and the warmer weather, we will be able to go for more walks - short and slow, but nonetheless a breath of fresh air.
This week she is due to go into hospital for the next overnight stay/intravenous chemo, if there is a bed...... then the two following Tuesdays will be visits to the outpatients clinic; then at some point she will have another scan, to see how things are doing - and then the consultant will say what happens next (either more of the same, or have a break for a bit). It is all in the Lord's hands, and we are more than content to leave it there!
Psa 107:8 Oh that men would praise the LORD for his goodness, and for his wonderful works to the children of men!
Rom 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
Saturday, March 31, 2007
Friday, March 23, 2007
This week
This week we had the ordinary visit to the outpatients clinic, which nearly went better than ever.....
After getting there about 9:30am, Sue had the blood-test and dressing change and (after a while) saw the doctor, and we were out by around 11am; not bad. I took her home and left for work - only to get a call half-way to say the pager had gone off (meaning the chemo was ready). This was much earlier than usual! So we got back to the hospital about 12:15 ..................and then had to sit and wait until just after 2pm. Perhaps it was somebody's lunch-time?
The Macmillan nurse has also been in this week, which is good. She comes very two weeks or so, just to see how we are doing, and to offer any suggestions and advice that she can. Sometimes the ideas are readily acceptable, others take a bit of getting used to - and to some we have to say "not ready for that quite yet!"
In herself, Sue is still having good days and bad days; sometimes there is pain, often there is a degree of depression, frequently there is a lack of appetite, and always there is weakness. In part we think this is the after-effects of the last batch of intra-venous chemo; she seems a little brighter now at the end of the week than she did at the start of the week. Still, we are grateful to the Lord for daily mercies and daily grace.
After getting there about 9:30am, Sue had the blood-test and dressing change and (after a while) saw the doctor, and we were out by around 11am; not bad. I took her home and left for work - only to get a call half-way to say the pager had gone off (meaning the chemo was ready). This was much earlier than usual! So we got back to the hospital about 12:15 ..................and then had to sit and wait until just after 2pm. Perhaps it was somebody's lunch-time?
The Macmillan nurse has also been in this week, which is good. She comes very two weeks or so, just to see how we are doing, and to offer any suggestions and advice that she can. Sometimes the ideas are readily acceptable, others take a bit of getting used to - and to some we have to say "not ready for that quite yet!"
In herself, Sue is still having good days and bad days; sometimes there is pain, often there is a degree of depression, frequently there is a lack of appetite, and always there is weakness. In part we think this is the after-effects of the last batch of intra-venous chemo; she seems a little brighter now at the end of the week than she did at the start of the week. Still, we are grateful to the Lord for daily mercies and daily grace.
Thursday, March 15, 2007
Encouragements
After going into hospital on Monday evening, Sue started her treatment around mid-day on Tuesday, so it was just after mid-day yesterday when she was allowed out again. This is now the normal timescale (around 24 hours) and is much better than the first couple of stays which were rather longer.
She says she feels better than she does sometimes after the treatment; she had some pain last night and this morning, but nowhere near as bad as last week - and this evening she and her mother (who lives with us) managed to cook the tea between them, which was good! She certainly looks and sounds reasonably bright - again, very much in contrast to last week, for which we are grateful to the Lord.
We also have the weekend to look forward to, as both daughters should be home for a couple of days - it will be nice to see them, and spend time with them. Life at home is very quiet when they are away at uni!
Truly we have so much to thank the Lord for - the mercies of each new day of grace, the blessing of home and friends and family, the privilege of being able to share the word of God together and listen to sermons together (many thanks to certain special friends in Georgia!) - and principally the blessings of salvation and redemption and forgiveness in and through Jesus Christ!
Psa 107:1/2 O give thanks unto the LORD, for he is good: for his mercy endureth for ever. Let the redeemed of the LORD say so, whom he hath redeemed from the hand of the enemy;
She says she feels better than she does sometimes after the treatment; she had some pain last night and this morning, but nowhere near as bad as last week - and this evening she and her mother (who lives with us) managed to cook the tea between them, which was good! She certainly looks and sounds reasonably bright - again, very much in contrast to last week, for which we are grateful to the Lord.
We also have the weekend to look forward to, as both daughters should be home for a couple of days - it will be nice to see them, and spend time with them. Life at home is very quiet when they are away at uni!
Truly we have so much to thank the Lord for - the mercies of each new day of grace, the blessing of home and friends and family, the privilege of being able to share the word of God together and listen to sermons together (many thanks to certain special friends in Georgia!) - and principally the blessings of salvation and redemption and forgiveness in and through Jesus Christ!
Psa 107:1/2 O give thanks unto the LORD, for he is good: for his mercy endureth for ever. Let the redeemed of the LORD say so, whom he hath redeemed from the hand of the enemy;
Monday, March 12, 2007
Good days and not so good
This has not been an easy week week medically - Sue has been (actually or just feeling) sick, not eating for 2-3 days, feeling low and depressed, being in pain - with visits from the Macmillan nurse, the district nurses, and the GP, and various tablet changes. However by Friday, in the grace and mercy of God, she was actually beginning to pick up a bit. Saturday we actually managed to go for a short and slow walk! and Sunday morning she was ok, and had some lunch, so all seemed well. However, when the pain comes, it comes - so we just have to get a couple of spoonfuls of the morphine-substitute into her, and in time it eases.
In the providence of God, Sue was called into the hospital tonight. We were glad she had a bed early (she was due to go in tomorrow) but thought it a bit odd she she asked to report to the ward at 6pm..... but it transpired they just wanted to get her in, lest they should lose the bed to another department! and so she will not have even the initial blood-tests, or start the pre-chemo hydration (saline drips) until tomorrow, and it will be Wednesday before she gets out. But on balance it is better to be in and wait, rather than wait at home and be a week late!
We are therefore grateful to the Lord for the bed, and for the hospital facilities, and for the fact that she is feeling - quite often - as well as she does; there is sometimes even a sparkle in her eyes, which has been missing for quite a lot of the time since we had the diagnosis in November. Truly God is good! How many blessings we have to thank the Lord for, each and every day.
Thanks for the prayer-support - much appreciated.
In the providence of God, Sue was called into the hospital tonight. We were glad she had a bed early (she was due to go in tomorrow) but thought it a bit odd she she asked to report to the ward at 6pm..... but it transpired they just wanted to get her in, lest they should lose the bed to another department! and so she will not have even the initial blood-tests, or start the pre-chemo hydration (saline drips) until tomorrow, and it will be Wednesday before she gets out. But on balance it is better to be in and wait, rather than wait at home and be a week late!
We are therefore grateful to the Lord for the bed, and for the hospital facilities, and for the fact that she is feeling - quite often - as well as she does; there is sometimes even a sparkle in her eyes, which has been missing for quite a lot of the time since we had the diagnosis in November. Truly God is good! How many blessings we have to thank the Lord for, each and every day.
Thanks for the prayer-support - much appreciated.
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
An interesting day
Generally speaking, Sue is not too bad, apart from being tired and weak/wobbly - although the last few days she has had a fair bit of pain for some reason in the evenings.
I could just report that Sue went in yesterday for the normal outpatients clinic visit; that she saw the doctor, and had the normal blood tests, which were ok; that she then went home for a couple of hours before being "bleeped" to go back in to have the chemo sac on the pump renewed; and also to get a different mix of mouthwashes for her sore mouth.
However...
That would leave out the fact that, in the gracious providence of God, the garage managed to fit a new clutch unit to J's car (dropped off only on Saturday as an emergency) by yesterday (Tuesday) afternoon. Initially they said next weekend - then "possibly Thursday".
That was important because she had taken Sue's car to uni on Sunday afternoon, and rang in the evening to say the water "warning light" was coming on. Although topped up, it was still glowing on Monday night (after driving to and from work); and although the tank was refilled on Tuesday morning before she left, it was virtually empty when she got to the hospital at which she was working. She was getting very nervous about driving it home....
So (as any husband and father would do) the day actually included not only two visits to the outpatients clinic at the local hospital, but a visit (to swap cars) to another hospital 100 miles away, then a wait for one mechanic to diagnose the problem (a corroded cooling pipe has sprung a hole or two,as a starting point), then another wait before a trip back in a recovery vehicle late at night to the garage - before a kind brother-in-law drove me home.
But the journey down was lovely and sunny, and the Lord was peculiarly close, so it was good to take time to praise Him for all His goodness and mercy and grace and love. Not by coincidence, another blog I read had the following quote for yesterday -
“When you take time to travel with reverence, a richer life unfolds before you.” - and that was certainly true for me.
I could just report that Sue went in yesterday for the normal outpatients clinic visit; that she saw the doctor, and had the normal blood tests, which were ok; that she then went home for a couple of hours before being "bleeped" to go back in to have the chemo sac on the pump renewed; and also to get a different mix of mouthwashes for her sore mouth.
However...
That would leave out the fact that, in the gracious providence of God, the garage managed to fit a new clutch unit to J's car (dropped off only on Saturday as an emergency) by yesterday (Tuesday) afternoon. Initially they said next weekend - then "possibly Thursday".
That was important because she had taken Sue's car to uni on Sunday afternoon, and rang in the evening to say the water "warning light" was coming on. Although topped up, it was still glowing on Monday night (after driving to and from work); and although the tank was refilled on Tuesday morning before she left, it was virtually empty when she got to the hospital at which she was working. She was getting very nervous about driving it home....
So (as any husband and father would do) the day actually included not only two visits to the outpatients clinic at the local hospital, but a visit (to swap cars) to another hospital 100 miles away, then a wait for one mechanic to diagnose the problem (a corroded cooling pipe has sprung a hole or two,as a starting point), then another wait before a trip back in a recovery vehicle late at night to the garage - before a kind brother-in-law drove me home.
But the journey down was lovely and sunny, and the Lord was peculiarly close, so it was good to take time to praise Him for all His goodness and mercy and grace and love. Not by coincidence, another blog I read had the following quote for yesterday -
“When you take time to travel with reverence, a richer life unfolds before you.” - and that was certainly true for me.
Monday, March 05, 2007
The weekend
As expected, Sue went into outpatients on Friday for her blood transfusion, which took the usual 4-5 hours. I am pleased to say that she felt brighter afterwards.
However, Jess was home for the weekend, and she had to accompany Sue down to the hospital again on Saturday as her mouth was very sore. (We told the consultant on Tuesday, but he said that it didn't look too bad; but it got worse.) They gave Sue some mouthwashes, and hopefully that will ease things. (I couldn't go, because I took J's car to the garage, as the clutch had gone....so she has taken Sue's car back to uni, somewhat nervously as it is bigger than hers; but she needs a car to get to her placement for the next few weeks. Hopefully hers will be fixed this week.)
What with the soreness of mouth, and continuing "on and off" stomach pains, Sue was not overbright yesterday; a bit muddled at times, and quite tearful, and having more recourse to the "when required" pain killers. Nonethless she managed to eat some lunch, and enjoyed it, which is a blessing.
As ever, we continue to look to the Lord, and trust in Him - our sovereign heavenly Father, who allows and permits and controls all things in His love.
However, Jess was home for the weekend, and she had to accompany Sue down to the hospital again on Saturday as her mouth was very sore. (We told the consultant on Tuesday, but he said that it didn't look too bad; but it got worse.) They gave Sue some mouthwashes, and hopefully that will ease things. (I couldn't go, because I took J's car to the garage, as the clutch had gone....so she has taken Sue's car back to uni, somewhat nervously as it is bigger than hers; but she needs a car to get to her placement for the next few weeks. Hopefully hers will be fixed this week.)
What with the soreness of mouth, and continuing "on and off" stomach pains, Sue was not overbright yesterday; a bit muddled at times, and quite tearful, and having more recourse to the "when required" pain killers. Nonethless she managed to eat some lunch, and enjoyed it, which is a blessing.
As ever, we continue to look to the Lord, and trust in Him - our sovereign heavenly Father, who allows and permits and controls all things in His love.
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